This is your first experience of Awakening.
You feel mostly like yourself… like a regular Human… but you’re beginning to realize that this reality goes far deeper than you had previously realized.
You’re probably still working at your regular job, or doing your regular thing (whatever it may be), trying to act normal so as not to attract unwanted attention from the people in your life who would probably accuse you of being crazy. (Sometimes you feel like you’re f*cking crazy…)
You can feel things changing and it is potentially freaking you out because you’re not sure what it is changing into or what it will mean for you.
Big changes… little changes… so much is changing.
You might be questioning everything you ever learned or thought to be true.
Maybe at this point you’ve realized that YOU are the one that is changing.
Things that you used to be able to take pleasure in (conversation topics, sports, tv shows, hobbies, foods, sex, music, drinking, etc.) now feel kind of empty… like you keep reaching for it out of habit/familiarty… but it just doesn’t give you the satisfaction that it used to.
Things you took for granted as normal and obvious start to seem questionable (for example, certain traditions or things people “just do”, like cutting their lawn… those things can start to seem f*cking weird and you have moments where you’re like “why the hell are we doing this?…”)
You’re probably straddling two realities— the reality that you are used to, that is most familiar to you— and a new reality where you are interested in different things, you see things differently, you have different beliefs & opinions forming, YOU feel different.
It’s like you’re trying to stay in the old reality because it feels familiar & safe, but you’re involuntarily being drawn into this new reality. Like you can’t help it. It is just happening.
If you relate to this then I advise you to stop resisting it.
It takes up A LOT of energy to resist this process, and it is a losing battle, ultimately.
All things in nature evolve, including you.
Just surrender to the process and allow yourself to awaken.
Allow the people you no longer resonate with to gently recede into the background of your life.
Listen to your intuitive hits and nudges to watch this documentary… or listen to that podcast… or talk to this person over here…or leave your job and embark on a new career/employment/entrepreneurship path… or travel to Arizona or Costa Rica or New Zealand or Vietnam… or to eat less sugar or cut out grains or go carnivore or embark on a juice fast.
Whatever is coming up through your intuition— follow it.
There is no road map for this journey. But your Heart-intuition will guide you, and the whole purpose of it is for you to learn how to hear, feel & follow that intuition.
We’ve been programmed to defer to the authority of government, parents, bosses, teachers, law enforcement, doctors, scientists and experts for our whole lives, and now we are being guided to learn how to follow our own internal authority.
You might be questioning everything you ever learned or thought to be true.
You might be starting to learn about some “conspiracy theories” that have you further questioning WTF is going on here and the nature of reality.
You may also be finding that you are becoming super sensitive to the energies of others.
You could be developing social anxiety because being around other people feels overwhelming.
If your empathic gifts (feeling the feelings of others) or your psychic gifts are coming online it can be even more overwhelming, as it can feel like too much information is coming in and you have no idea what to do with it.
You may be experiencing vivid, meaningful or lucid dreams.
And you don’t have to know what they mean!
In fact, in all likelihood you feel like you have way more questions than answers right now, and new questions keep popping up each day!
Sometimes Spiritual Awakening is triggered by a tragic or traumatic event.
Something that shatters your illusions of reality so thoroughly that you can never go back to seeing things as you did before.
But also sometimes we just… wake up.
Just one day we hear something or see something that triggers our Awakening, and begins our journey on this path of Soul-deep evolution.
There are so many nuances to the first layer of Spiritual Awakening that I could literally type for days.
But who has time for that?
Suffice it to say that it is usually very overwhelming, very disorienting and very alienating, as the other people in our lives might not necessarily be awake themselves.
All of this compounds together to create a period of such profound uncertainty that we descend into a Dark Night of the Soul.
A Dark Night of the Soul is a term to describe an indefinite period where everything is so destabilized that it can feel like our own internal Hell.
But it’s not Hell.
It is an initiation.
It is a time of going inward on a Hermit’s journey to discover who you really are, underneath all of the programming and conditioning of this lifetime.
Additionally it is a period of cocooning as your identity dissolves into caterpillar goo, and reforms into something new.
The butterfly, dragonfly or moth that you were always coded to be.
You are safe to be in this process.
And you are not alone.
